Salt & Light 3

After nine months (which is actually closer to ten but no one ever tells you that!) of an ever expanding belly, strange food cravings and an aching back, the day finally arrives when your dear sweet child makes his or her entrance into the world.

Oh, what a wonderful day that is.  Tiny fingers, hands and toes, a tiny little nose, perfect lips and a body that practically fits in the palm of your hand.  Who knew you could ever fall in love that fast?

About six weeks into the adventure you wonder if you are ever going to get a full night’s sleep again.  Then your mind wanders to the pre-baby days when you could sleep in, go out to dinner without a diaper bag and when you could get more than one thing done on your to-do list in a day or even a week.

At about three months you are hopefully only getting up during the night once or twice and you have finally been on a date with your husband (and you worried about your bundle of joy the entire time, but that’s okay.  It’s normal.)

As your life begins to return to a more normal routine it is time to start thinking about creating a normal routine for your baby.  As his or her sleep schedule begins to even out and you have figured out a feeding schedule it is time to begin setting up a daily schedule to create the best environment for your baby to develop and grow.

Now here is my disclaimer:  Every child is different but all children benefit from boundaries and routine.  Your routine needs to fit your child, but it should be consistent and as close as you can make it to being the same each day.  

Routine is healthy.  If you have ever had a job that you were good at you can probably remember your first day.  You were given a time to show up for work.  You were given a lunch or break time and you were told when you could go home for the day.  Within these confines you learned how to manage your time, complete tasks and finish projects.  After a while you didn’t have to think about it much anymore.  You knew the boundaries of time and you learned to work within those boundaries and you found success.

The same can be said for babies.  If they are given boundaries of time, that you choose, their bodies soon learn to operate within those boundaries.  Their internal clocks begin to set themselves for waking, sleeping, eating and playing.  When these activities fall at the same time each day their brains send a message to the rest of their bodies assuring them that they are safe and secure.  This in turn allows their bodies to grow, develop and flourish because they know they are going to be stimulated, fed and get rest every day.  They never have to go into survival mode for any of these basic necessities and are therefore unhindered in their development.

In real life practical terms I practiced a routine with my children and I recommend it to every parent that asks me, emails me or calls me for advice.

So, what does a routine look like?  Let’s take a moment to break it down into its individual parts.

Each day consists of eating, playing (stimulation) and sleeping.  Eating will start out being something your baby will want to do fairly often in the beginning and as he or she grows it will become less frequent.  Beginning at 3-5 months of age this is a good time to begin helping your child start to set their internal clock to eat at regular intervals based on your family’s eating habits.  A morning meal, a mid-day meal and an evening meal should be part of your baseline. Other meal times may be interspersed between these three but establishing these baseline times early will help your child adapt to your family as he or she begins to grow.

Playtime should be a part of every child’s day.  It should include two parts: interactive playtime and individual playtime.  You should spend considerable time playing with your child in an interactive manner – peek-a-boo, tickle time, singing, reading stories (even at an early age).  You should also allow your child some personal down time.  Over stimulation can be just as dangerous as under-stimulation.   For young children tummy time and mat time are great opportunities to be alone and playing at the same time.  For older children who are more mobile time in the play yard is a wonderful opportunity to explore their world in a safe manner.  Put in a few toys and books and let them play.  It is wonderful for brain development and gives you an opportunity to get a chore done, read a book or spend some quality time with another child in your family or your husband.

Eating and playing, when done routinely will lead to sleeping.  As stated before, a child who gets adequate nutrition on a regular basis and is active throughout the day will feel safe and secure, enough to trigger responses in the brain that it is safe to sleep.  Your job as the parent is to allow your child’s body to work naturally and get the rest it needs.  Your child still needs you to be the regulator.  By setting up a regular sleep schedule for your child you will help him or her begin to move toward regulating the internal clock they need to grow and develop properly.

Now that we’ve looked at the parts individually you can hopefully come up with a daily routine and nap schedule that fits your child and your family.

Below you will find an example of good nap habits for most children.  Remember the disclaimer – Every child is different but all children benefit from boundaries and routine.  Your routine needs to fit your child, but it should be consistent and as close as you can make it to being the same each day.